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  • July 11, 2014 - Reflections

    By Jean S. Horner
    The other day while walking down a corridor in a public building, I saw what appeared to be someone walking toward me. On coming closer, I found it was my own reflection in a huge mirror. For a moment it frightened me. Somehow a full-length reflection of one’s self is a startling thing. ...


Daily Boost

May 6, 2013 - What Are Your Words Saying?

By Dave Kidd

You have probably heard the saying, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it." I am convinced it is both what you say and how you say it.

Lately, we have been teaching our kids about their responsibility in speech. Over the last two years I have been holding to a verbal lifestyle that says if it comes out of my mouth, I am responsible for:

What I said.
What I meant.
All the nonverbals (body language).
How what I said was received and interpreted.

In short, if I say something and someone interprets it differently than how I meant it, it is MY response-ability to:

Apologize for any miscommunication.
Offer clarification.
Learn from my communicative mistake.

I am sure we have all seen many relationships destroyed because someone would not take responsibility for what they said. Perhaps this is why in Colossians 4:6, Paul writes, "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone" (NIV).

This is especially true for the target audience of the above verse — followers of Jesus Christ. Just a few words that are misinterpreted by the hearer can have devastating effects on the communication of the gospel.

Imagine placing the guidelines mentioned above in the marriage relationship. Might it remove some of the teeth from our bad moods, disagreements, and our arguments? Simply taking responsibility for words directed at our spouse will cause us to think before we speak and, then, speak those words in love.

Question of the Week: What if you could visually see your words' effect on your spouse? You children? Your friends and co-workers? What would you change?

— Dave Kidd is lead pastor at True North Church (Assemblies of God) in Minerva, Ohio. Dave and Robin Kidd minister widely as marriage counselors and seminar leaders.



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