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  • July 11, 2014 - Reflections

    By Jean S. Horner
    The other day while walking down a corridor in a public building, I saw what appeared to be someone walking toward me. On coming closer, I found it was my own reflection in a huge mirror. For a moment it frightened me. Somehow a full-length reflection of one’s self is a startling thing. ...

My Journey: Big and Small, Trust Him in All

By Sue Carloni
Mar. 9, 2014

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5,6, NKJV).

I repeated this Scripture over and over when we learned my husband, Kurt, had a cancerous brain tumor. The passage became my constant life theme as we awaited his surgery.

Although we were shocked when we first heard the news, God gave Kurt and me His perfect peace almost instantly. We trusted God to heal Kurt.

“How can you be so calm?” my friend Patti asked, as we discussed Kurt’s brain cancer.

“I totally trust that God will heal Kurt, so why should I worry?” I said.

“But how can you have such strong faith that God will heal him?”

“I’ve felt it in my heart from the beginning. And then one day my faith was reinforced when I read Philippians 2:27: ‘For indeed he was sick almost unto death; but God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.’ It seemed as if the Scripture was speaking about Kurt and me.”

Indeed Kurt was ill, and almost died. But God had mercy on him — and not on him only but also on me, to spare me “sorrow upon sorrow.”

Because Kurt needed time off for his doctor appointments and treatments and for daily rest, he retired early. He had owned his own business, and there was no pension to collect. With medical bills piling up, along with the usual expenses, it was difficult to make ends meet.

“Kurt, we aren’t going to have enough money to pay this month’s bills,” I grumbled.

“You say this almost every month,” he replied. “Why do you worry?”

“You’re not the one who takes care of paying the bills. You don’t see how there aren’t sufficient funds.”

Knowing I shouldn’t worry, yet having trouble not doing so, I prayed that God would help me trust Him to take care of us financially. Despite my prayers, I continued to stress out when it seemed there wouldn’t be enough cash to cover a month’s expenses or even a week’s groceries.

After once again sharing with Kurt my worries about our financial situation, I admitted I was trying to trust God but was having a difficult time.

“God has supplied our needs,” Kurt said, giving me a hug.

“But we only survived,” I said, “by selling two vehicles and using the proceeds to pay bills. And if church hadn’t helped us, what would we have done? And then there are those times when family and friends gave us gift certificates to the grocery store.”

“Don’t you see?” Kurt asked.

“See what?”

“God has provided for us through all those resources.”

I knew Kurt was right. I had been stressing for nothing and should have trusted God all along. He is in charge of our finances as well as Kurt’s brain cancer.

Philippians 4:19 promises, “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” God had been supplying our needs through resources I had not recognized as coming from Him.

Later that night I recalled my friend Kathy telling me about ants that had invaded her kitchen.

“God cares about the biggest things in our lives and the smallest,” she said. “I prayed that God would remove the ants from my kitchen, and the next morning they were gone. I hadn’t even sprayed bug killer because of the baby and dog.”

At the time, I had wondered why God would care about such a small thing. I realize now I can trust God with all my heart in all things big and small, whether it be brain cancer or finances or even ants in the kitchen.

SUE CARLONI lives in Oconomowoc, Wis.


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