November 15, 2012 - The Physics of Love
By Doug Clay
I recently read an article written by the staff of Home Life that talked about the physics of love. The article took Isaac Newton’s three laws of motion and made an application to marriage.
The Law of Inertia: This law states that an object will not move or change until a force acts upon it. Is your marriage stuck in a rut? Continuing with the same behaviors will yield the same results, so maybe it’s time to try something new.
The Law of Acceleration: This law states that the acceleration of an object depends directly upon the force acting upon the object and inversely upon the mass of the object. Is your marriage weighted down by financial worries or hurt over a wayward child? These things impact your relational momentum.
The Law of Reciprocal Action: This law states that to every action there is an equal but opposite reaction. Do you know that a certain action will provoke a particular response in your spouse?
Well , these are good laws, and there are some parallels that can be drawn. But Sir Isaac Newton was never married. So, I asked a specialist — a nurse by skill, and a wife by experience — to give her laws of motion that lead to a healthy marriage.
1. Laugh: Laugh with each other and at each other. Yes, "at" each other! We all do dumb things, and if you can't allow your spouse a great laugh at your expense, then you are taking yourself way too seriously. Life can be hectic and hurtful. When you stop laughing, life can seem overwhelming. "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects” (Arnold Glasgow). So throw your head back and laugh hilariously.
2. Let it go: We all have things that tick us off. Many times our spouse is the biggest offender. A friend once told us that the things that attracted you to your spouse are the very things that will drive you nuts later on. And everyone said, "Amen." You have to learn to let go of those things that annoy you, and dwell on those things you adore about your spouse. When those little irritations rear their ugly head, take a deep breath and let them go.
3. Love unconditionally: We are all on a journey through this thing called life. We are at different points and stages along the way, facing different joys and struggles. Husbands, do you really know what it is like to have all the household and childcare duties your wife faces every day? Wives, do you know what struggles and stresses your husband has gone through at work each and every day? The answer to both of those questions is no. What your spouse needs most at the end of the day is your unconditional love. Sometimes we may be stressed and cranky from the day but feeling that love from our spouse is just what we need. "What is love? Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be" (Chris Moore).
I can vouch for the laws. After all, they came from my wife, Gail.
Make a great day!
— Doug Clay is general treasurer of the Assemblies of God.